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Categories: d'Celoteh
@ mba ella : diverifikasi dulu emailnya mbak … xixixi …
14 January 10 at 10:06
hilman
Idana juga kayanya belum diverifikasi ya?? :)
14 January 10 at 10:27
aku udah dan udah submit postingan heheheeh .. asik neh … gw suka yg ini … keyen … hehehehe
14 January 10 at 12:02
keknya ada yang gaptekwati tadi wakakkaa
14 January 10 at 17:31
@ julie : siapa ? *tengok kanan kiri*
15 January 10 at 05:25
baru sempat buka hehehehe
17 January 10 at 07:37
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20 February 10 at 14:27
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
11 April 10 at 14:05
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
11 April 10 at 14:06
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
11 April 10 at 15:12
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
11 April 10 at 15:36
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
11 April 10 at 15:56
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
11 April 10 at 16:07
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
11 April 10 at 16:10
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
11 April 10 at 16:14
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
11 April 10 at 17:09
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another Direction.
11 April 10 at 17:18
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
11 April 10 at 17:24
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
11 April 10 at 17:35
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
11 April 10 at 18:20
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
11 April 10 at 18:39
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
11 April 10 at 19:19
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
11 April 10 at 19:25
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
11 April 10 at 19:31
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
11 April 10 at 19:39
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
11 April 10 at 20:13
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
11 April 10 at 20:33
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
11 April 10 at 21:15
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
11 April 10 at 21:48
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
11 April 10 at 22:24
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
11 April 10 at 22:28
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
11 April 10 at 23:30
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
11 April 10 at 23:50
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
12 April 10 at 00:27
I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.
12 April 10 at 01:22
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
12 April 10 at 01:26
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
12 April 10 at 02:12
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
12 April 10 at 02:24
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
12 April 10 at 02:28
Attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance.
12 April 10 at 02:50
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
12 April 10 at 03:29
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
12 April 10 at 03:29
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
12 April 10 at 03:42
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
12 April 10 at 03:50
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
12 April 10 at 04:23
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
12 April 10 at 04:32
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
12 April 10 at 04:50
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
12 April 10 at 04:54
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
12 April 10 at 05:05
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
12 April 10 at 05:26
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
12 April 10 at 05:50
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
12 April 10 at 06:52
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
12 April 10 at 06:57
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
12 April 10 at 07:54
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
12 April 10 at 07:54
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
12 April 10 at 08:29
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
12 April 10 at 08:38
I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
12 April 10 at 09:34
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
12 April 10 at 10:05
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
12 April 10 at 10:19
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
12 April 10 at 11:38
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.
12 April 10 at 12:28
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
12 April 10 at 12:32
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
12 April 10 at 14:38
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
12 April 10 at 15:21
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
12 April 10 at 16:01
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
12 April 10 at 16:28
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
12 April 10 at 17:11
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
12 April 10 at 17:12
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
12 April 10 at 18:10
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
12 April 10 at 18:35
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
12 April 10 at 19:12
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
12 April 10 at 19:15
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
12 April 10 at 20:27
I’m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
12 April 10 at 20:49
Am I lightheaded because I’m not dead or because I’m still alive?
12 April 10 at 21:13
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
12 April 10 at 21:45
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
12 April 10 at 21:58
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
12 April 10 at 23:29
Once you’ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
13 April 10 at 00:03
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
13 April 10 at 00:13
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
13 April 10 at 00:29
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
13 April 10 at 00:35
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
13 April 10 at 00:57
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
13 April 10 at 01:15
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
13 April 10 at 01:21
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
13 April 10 at 02:06
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
13 April 10 at 02:14
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
13 April 10 at 02:31
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
13 April 10 at 02:49
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
13 April 10 at 03:11
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
13 April 10 at 03:46
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
13 April 10 at 04:05
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
13 April 10 at 04:16
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
13 April 10 at 04:51
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
13 April 10 at 04:55
If a man does his best, what else is there?
13 April 10 at 05:14
There is only one nature – the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
13 April 10 at 06:01
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
13 April 10 at 06:17
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
13 April 10 at 07:04
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
13 April 10 at 07:06
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
13 April 10 at 07:20
I hope life isn’t a big joke … because I don’t get it.
13 April 10 at 07:26
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
13 April 10 at 08:08
I criticize by creation – not by finding fault.
13 April 10 at 08:23
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
13 April 10 at 08:27
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
13 April 10 at 08:51
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
13 April 10 at 09:32
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.
13 April 10 at 09:55
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It’s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
13 April 10 at 10:04
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.
13 April 10 at 10:30
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
13 April 10 at 10:38
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
13 April 10 at 10:58
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
13 April 10 at 11:45
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
13 April 10 at 11:51
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
13 April 10 at 13:47
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
13 April 10 at 13:50
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
13 April 10 at 14:49
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.
13 April 10 at 14:58
My last cow just died, so I won’t need your bull anymore.
13 April 10 at 15:05
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
13 April 10 at 15:08
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
13 April 10 at 15:37
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
13 April 10 at 15:53
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
13 April 10 at 16:01
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.
13 April 10 at 16:16
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
13 April 10 at 16:42
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
13 April 10 at 17:18
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
13 April 10 at 17:25
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
13 April 10 at 17:55
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
13 April 10 at 18:31
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
13 April 10 at 18:34
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
13 April 10 at 18:48
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
13 April 10 at 19:01
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
13 April 10 at 19:45
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
13 April 10 at 21:19
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
13 April 10 at 21:36
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
13 April 10 at 21:44
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
13 April 10 at 23:24
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
14 April 10 at 00:32
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
14 April 10 at 01:00
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
14 April 10 at 01:23
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
14 April 10 at 01:44
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
14 April 10 at 02:08
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
14 April 10 at 02:35
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
14 April 10 at 02:35
Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
14 April 10 at 02:45
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
14 April 10 at 02:55
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
14 April 10 at 03:13
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
14 April 10 at 03:47
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
14 April 10 at 03:57
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
14 April 10 at 04:03
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
14 April 10 at 04:51
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
14 April 10 at 04:55
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
14 April 10 at 05:13
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
14 April 10 at 05:34
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
14 April 10 at 05:36
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
14 April 10 at 05:51
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
14 April 10 at 06:04
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
14 April 10 at 06:07
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
14 April 10 at 06:54
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
14 April 10 at 07:06
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
14 April 10 at 07:08
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
14 April 10 at 07:36
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
14 April 10 at 07:53
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
14 April 10 at 07:56
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
14 April 10 at 08:17
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
14 April 10 at 08:55
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
14 April 10 at 09:01
So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘I’m not stopping you.’
14 April 10 at 09:23
The truth is more important than the facts.
14 April 10 at 09:37
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego’.
14 April 10 at 10:33
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
14 April 10 at 10:38
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
14 April 10 at 11:03
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
14 April 10 at 11:23
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
14 April 10 at 12:13
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
14 April 10 at 13:26
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that’s ok because you’ll be a mile away from him and you’ll have his shoes.
14 April 10 at 13:53
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.
14 April 10 at 13:57
Devlin’s First Law – Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin’s Second Law – So can PowerPoint.
14 April 10 at 14:45
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
14 April 10 at 14:52
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
14 April 10 at 15:09
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
14 April 10 at 15:20
I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.
14 April 10 at 15:34
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
14 April 10 at 15:37
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
14 April 10 at 16:21
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
14 April 10 at 16:33
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
14 April 10 at 16:38
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
14 April 10 at 16:42
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
14 April 10 at 16:44
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
14 April 10 at 16:50
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.
14 April 10 at 17:29
I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
14 April 10 at 18:35
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
14 April 10 at 18:39
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
14 April 10 at 19:00
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
14 April 10 at 19:18
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
14 April 10 at 19:34
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
14 April 10 at 20:16
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
14 April 10 at 20:40
Raymond’s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
14 April 10 at 21:00
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
14 April 10 at 21:03
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
14 April 10 at 21:49
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
14 April 10 at 23:00
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
15 April 10 at 00:06
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
15 April 10 at 00:23
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
15 April 10 at 02:18
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15 April 10 at 02:35
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
15 April 10 at 03:17
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
15 April 10 at 03:24
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
15 April 10 at 03:32
Gigerenzer’s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
15 April 10 at 03:37
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
15 April 10 at 04:36
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
15 April 10 at 04:50
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
15 April 10 at 04:54
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
15 April 10 at 04:57
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
15 April 10 at 05:53
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
15 April 10 at 06:29
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
15 April 10 at 06:36
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
15 April 10 at 07:12
The truth is more important than the facts.
15 April 10 at 07:37
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
15 April 10 at 08:05
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.
15 April 10 at 08:27
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
15 April 10 at 08:32
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
15 April 10 at 10:14
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
15 April 10 at 11:01
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
15 April 10 at 11:14
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
15 April 10 at 12:20
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
15 April 10 at 12:29
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
15 April 10 at 13:26
I hope life isn’t a big joke … because I don’t get it.
15 April 10 at 13:45
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
15 April 10 at 14:19
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
15 April 10 at 14:27
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
15 April 10 at 15:08
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
15 April 10 at 15:28
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
15 April 10 at 15:51
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.
15 April 10 at 17:12
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
15 April 10 at 18:05
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
15 April 10 at 18:27
It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.
15 April 10 at 18:34
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
15 April 10 at 18:37
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
15 April 10 at 18:42
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
15 April 10 at 19:06
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
15 April 10 at 19:30
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
15 April 10 at 19:44
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
15 April 10 at 19:57
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ‘There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
15 April 10 at 20:37
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
15 April 10 at 20:42
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
15 April 10 at 20:45
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
15 April 10 at 21:09
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
15 April 10 at 21:59
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
15 April 10 at 22:11
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
15 April 10 at 22:39
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
15 April 10 at 22:44
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
15 April 10 at 22:54
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
15 April 10 at 23:22
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
15 April 10 at 23:34
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
16 April 10 at 01:13
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
16 April 10 at 01:17
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
16 April 10 at 01:24
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
16 April 10 at 01:25
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
16 April 10 at 02:33
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
16 April 10 at 02:41
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
16 April 10 at 03:03
I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
16 April 10 at 03:09
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
16 April 10 at 03:09
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
16 April 10 at 03:10
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
16 April 10 at 03:13
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
16 April 10 at 03:58
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:23
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:24
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:24
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:24
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
16 April 10 at 04:33
If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.
16 April 10 at 04:52
They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–
16 April 10 at 05:22
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
16 April 10 at 05:34
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
16 April 10 at 06:12
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
16 April 10 at 06:16
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
16 April 10 at 06:28
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
16 April 10 at 06:37
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
16 April 10 at 06:48
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
16 April 10 at 07:20
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
16 April 10 at 07:28
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
16 April 10 at 07:46
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
16 April 10 at 07:47
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
16 April 10 at 08:11
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
16 April 10 at 08:19
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
16 April 10 at 08:31
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
16 April 10 at 08:40
Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.
16 April 10 at 08:56
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
16 April 10 at 09:16
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
16 April 10 at 09:29
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
16 April 10 at 09:48
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
16 April 10 at 09:57
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
16 April 10 at 10:09
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
16 April 10 at 10:20
The chain reaction of evil — wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
16 April 10 at 11:11
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
16 April 10 at 11:33
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
16 April 10 at 11:38
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
16 April 10 at 11:52
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
16 April 10 at 12:15
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
16 April 10 at 12:19
Support your local Search and Rescue unit — get lost.
16 April 10 at 12:37
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
16 April 10 at 12:48
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
16 April 10 at 12:56
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
16 April 10 at 13:31
It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go ‘aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
16 April 10 at 13:38
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
16 April 10 at 13:45
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load…)
16 April 10 at 13:56
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
16 April 10 at 13:58
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
16 April 10 at 14:08
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
16 April 10 at 14:14
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.
16 April 10 at 14:19
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
16 April 10 at 14:53
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
16 April 10 at 15:15
Honolulu, it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife’s mother.
16 April 10 at 15:22
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
16 April 10 at 15:24
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
16 April 10 at 15:42
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
16 April 10 at 15:50
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
16 April 10 at 15:59
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
16 April 10 at 16:23
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
16 April 10 at 16:32
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
16 April 10 at 16:36
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
16 April 10 at 16:46
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
16 April 10 at 16:53
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
16 April 10 at 17:29
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
16 April 10 at 17:34
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
16 April 10 at 17:34
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
16 April 10 at 17:46
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
16 April 10 at 17:55
Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.
16 April 10 at 18:13
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
16 April 10 at 18:40
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
16 April 10 at 18:58
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
16 April 10 at 19:05
It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
16 April 10 at 19:07
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
16 April 10 at 19:35
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
16 April 10 at 19:50
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
16 April 10 at 19:53
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
16 April 10 at 20:11
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… ’til you can find a rock.
16 April 10 at 20:17
I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
16 April 10 at 20:38
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
16 April 10 at 20:44
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
16 April 10 at 21:01
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
16 April 10 at 21:16
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
16 April 10 at 21:28
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… ’til you can find a rock.
16 April 10 at 22:06
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
16 April 10 at 22:27
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
16 April 10 at 22:30
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
16 April 10 at 22:41
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
16 April 10 at 23:41
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
16 April 10 at 23:48
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
16 April 10 at 23:51
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
16 April 10 at 23:58
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
17 April 10 at 00:03
I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
17 April 10 at 00:10
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
17 April 10 at 00:11
They laughed when I said I’d be a comedian. They aren’t laughing now.
17 April 10 at 01:05
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
17 April 10 at 01:15
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.
17 April 10 at 02:22
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
17 April 10 at 02:25
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
17 April 10 at 02:32
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
17 April 10 at 02:38
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that’s ok because you’ll be a mile away from him and you’ll have his shoes.
17 April 10 at 03:09
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
17 April 10 at 03:38
I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
17 April 10 at 03:40
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
17 April 10 at 03:50
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
17 April 10 at 03:57
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
17 April 10 at 04:38
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
17 April 10 at 04:42
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
17 April 10 at 04:43
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
17 April 10 at 04:52
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
17 April 10 at 04:55
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
17 April 10 at 05:26
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
17 April 10 at 05:34
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
17 April 10 at 05:40
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
17 April 10 at 05:45
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
17 April 10 at 05:53
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
17 April 10 at 05:57
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
17 April 10 at 06:08
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
17 April 10 at 06:15
Sex is like air. It’s only a big deal if you can’t get any.
17 April 10 at 06:54
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
17 April 10 at 06:59
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
17 April 10 at 07:03
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
17 April 10 at 07:14
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
17 April 10 at 07:23
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
17 April 10 at 08:11
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
17 April 10 at 08:59
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
17 April 10 at 09:18
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
17 April 10 at 09:18
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
17 April 10 at 09:34
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
17 April 10 at 10:23
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother.
17 April 10 at 10:35
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
17 April 10 at 10:39
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
17 April 10 at 10:51
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
17 April 10 at 11:36
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
17 April 10 at 11:37
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
17 April 10 at 11:44
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
17 April 10 at 11:59
Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
17 April 10 at 12:56
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
17 April 10 at 13:00
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
17 April 10 at 14:04
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
17 April 10 at 14:07
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
17 April 10 at 14:13
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
17 April 10 at 14:13
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
17 April 10 at 15:15
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
17 April 10 at 15:22
Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
17 April 10 at 15:22
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, ’cause if they couldn’t, they’d have to wake up to the fact that life’s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot — and the only reason THEY can’t seem to keep up is they’re a bunch of misfits and losers.
17 April 10 at 15:43
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
17 April 10 at 15:45
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn’t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
17 April 10 at 15:47
Support your local Search and Rescue unit — get lost.
17 April 10 at 15:56
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
17 April 10 at 16:06
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
17 April 10 at 16:29
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
17 April 10 at 16:31
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
17 April 10 at 17:24
If it wasn’t for muscle spasms, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
17 April 10 at 17:36
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
17 April 10 at 17:46
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
17 April 10 at 17:49
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
17 April 10 at 17:53
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
17 April 10 at 18:58
Why don’t you write books people can read?
17 April 10 at 19:07
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
17 April 10 at 19:14
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
17 April 10 at 19:45
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
17 April 10 at 19:47
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
17 April 10 at 20:16
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
17 April 10 at 20:23
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
17 April 10 at 20:28
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
17 April 10 at 20:57
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
17 April 10 at 21:29
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
17 April 10 at 21:29
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
17 April 10 at 21:29
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
17 April 10 at 21:29
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
17 April 10 at 21:33
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
17 April 10 at 21:37
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions – it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
17 April 10 at 21:49
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
17 April 10 at 22:39
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
17 April 10 at 22:43
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
17 April 10 at 22:52
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
17 April 10 at 22:56
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
17 April 10 at 23:25
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
17 April 10 at 23:49
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
18 April 10 at 00:03
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
18 April 10 at 00:12
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
18 April 10 at 00:18
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
18 April 10 at 00:43
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
18 April 10 at 00:58
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
18 April 10 at 01:01
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
18 April 10 at 01:21
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
18 April 10 at 01:56
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
18 April 10 at 02:04
The truth is more important than the facts.
18 April 10 at 02:06
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
18 April 10 at 02:23
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
18 April 10 at 02:39
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
18 April 10 at 02:46
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
18 April 10 at 02:47
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
18 April 10 at 03:13
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
18 April 10 at 03:32
If you think it’s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
18 April 10 at 03:41
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
18 April 10 at 04:17
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
18 April 10 at 04:21
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
18 April 10 at 04:38
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
18 April 10 at 04:47
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
18 April 10 at 05:19
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
18 April 10 at 05:47
I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
18 April 10 at 06:21
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
18 April 10 at 06:29
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
18 April 10 at 06:55
I was playing poker the other night… with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
18 April 10 at 07:13
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
18 April 10 at 07:14
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
18 April 10 at 07:18
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
18 April 10 at 07:42
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
18 April 10 at 08:40
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
18 April 10 at 08:58
Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love .
18 April 10 at 09:10
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
18 April 10 at 09:16
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
18 April 10 at 09:40
War doesn’t make boys men, it makes men dead.
18 April 10 at 10:06
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
18 April 10 at 10:07
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
18 April 10 at 10:15
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
18 April 10 at 10:18
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
18 April 10 at 10:42
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
18 April 10 at 10:46
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
18 April 10 at 11:17
I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
18 April 10 at 11:43
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
18 April 10 at 11:56
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
18 April 10 at 11:57
‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’
18 April 10 at 12:05
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
18 April 10 at 12:18
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
18 April 10 at 12:50
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
18 April 10 at 13:10
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
18 April 10 at 13:23
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
18 April 10 at 13:30
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
18 April 10 at 13:38
Emulate your heros, but don’t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
18 April 10 at 13:59
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
18 April 10 at 14:24
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
18 April 10 at 14:42
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
18 April 10 at 14:44
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
18 April 10 at 15:10
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
18 April 10 at 15:43
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
18 April 10 at 15:51
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
18 April 10 at 16:06
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
18 April 10 at 16:30
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
18 April 10 at 16:34
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
18 April 10 at 17:07
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
18 April 10 at 17:09
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
18 April 10 at 17:34
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
18 April 10 at 17:41
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.
18 April 10 at 18:04
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
18 April 10 at 18:12
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
18 April 10 at 18:23
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
18 April 10 at 19:13
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
18 April 10 at 19:18
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
18 April 10 at 19:38
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
18 April 10 at 19:43
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
18 April 10 at 19:43
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
18 April 10 at 19:51
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
18 April 10 at 21:16
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
18 April 10 at 21:27
I criticize by creation – not by finding fault.
18 April 10 at 21:28
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
18 April 10 at 21:36
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
18 April 10 at 21:41
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
18 April 10 at 21:44
After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
19 April 10 at 00:06
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
19 April 10 at 00:22
Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
19 April 10 at 00:22
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
19 April 10 at 01:23
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
19 April 10 at 01:41
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
19 April 10 at 01:44
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side
19 April 10 at 02:00
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
19 April 10 at 02:03
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
19 April 10 at 02:37
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
19 April 10 at 02:58
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
19 April 10 at 03:27
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
19 April 10 at 03:52
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
19 April 10 at 04:28
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
19 April 10 at 04:30
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
19 April 10 at 05:12
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
19 April 10 at 05:26
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
19 April 10 at 05:34
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
19 April 10 at 05:35
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
19 April 10 at 05:41
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
19 April 10 at 05:44
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
19 April 10 at 05:53
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
19 April 10 at 07:06
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
19 April 10 at 07:29
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
19 April 10 at 07:32
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
19 April 10 at 07:37
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
19 April 10 at 08:15
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
19 April 10 at 09:49
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
19 April 10 at 10:40
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
19 April 10 at 10:54
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
19 April 10 at 11:00
As the post said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
19 April 10 at 11:17
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
19 April 10 at 11:25
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
19 April 10 at 11:49
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
19 April 10 at 12:03
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
19 April 10 at 12:48
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
19 April 10 at 13:06
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
19 April 10 at 13:39
I Can’t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don’t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
19 April 10 at 13:40
I Can’t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don’t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
19 April 10 at 13:40
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
19 April 10 at 13:50
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
19 April 10 at 14:10
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
19 April 10 at 15:12
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
19 April 10 at 15:44
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
19 April 10 at 16:12
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
19 April 10 at 16:20
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
19 April 10 at 16:55
If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.
19 April 10 at 20:16
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
19 April 10 at 20:46
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
19 April 10 at 21:03
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
19 April 10 at 21:04
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
19 April 10 at 22:04
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
19 April 10 at 22:30
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
19 April 10 at 22:57
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me – and by that time no one was left to speak up.
19 April 10 at 23:41
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
20 April 10 at 01:22
If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.
20 April 10 at 02:36
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
20 April 10 at 03:14
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another Direction.
20 April 10 at 03:15
R70rP1 fztuvzhfvaon, [url=http://ccputqzjqndx.com/]ccputqzjqndx[/url], [link=http://yrmekyrrbtaz.com/]yrmekyrrbtaz[/link], http://icgkyqeinymj.com/
20 April 10 at 03:27
Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
20 April 10 at 03:44
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
20 April 10 at 04:14
Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
20 April 10 at 04:44
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
20 April 10 at 05:38
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
20 April 10 at 06:06
Sterling’s Corollary to Clarke’s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
20 April 10 at 07:02
But at my back I always hear Time’s winged chariot hurrying near.
20 April 10 at 07:23
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
20 April 10 at 07:37
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
20 April 10 at 07:40
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
20 April 10 at 07:55
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
20 April 10 at 09:23
In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
20 April 10 at 09:26
Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
20 April 10 at 10:37
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
20 April 10 at 11:21
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
20 April 10 at 11:23
‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’
20 April 10 at 11:25
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
20 April 10 at 13:11
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.
20 April 10 at 13:23
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
20 April 10 at 13:58
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
20 April 10 at 14:01
I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
20 April 10 at 14:11
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
20 April 10 at 15:40
We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
20 April 10 at 15:42
If you think it’s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
20 April 10 at 15:43
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
20 April 10 at 15:45
Sex is like air. It’s only a big deal if you can’t get any.
20 April 10 at 16:39
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
20 April 10 at 18:01
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
20 April 10 at 18:15
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.
20 April 10 at 18:56
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
20 April 10 at 19:18
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
20 April 10 at 19:57
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
20 April 10 at 20:25
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
20 April 10 at 21:21
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
20 April 10 at 21:42
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
20 April 10 at 21:58
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
20 April 10 at 22:04
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
20 April 10 at 23:22
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
20 April 10 at 23:29
The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.
20 April 10 at 23:37
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
20 April 10 at 23:45
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
20 April 10 at 23:49
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
21 April 10 at 00:50
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
21 April 10 at 00:58
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
21 April 10 at 01:30
I think ‘Hail to the Chief’ has a nice ring to it.
21 April 10 at 02:04
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
21 April 10 at 02:24
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
21 April 10 at 02:33
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
21 April 10 at 03:15
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
21 April 10 at 03:22
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
21 April 10 at 04:05
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
21 April 10 at 04:07
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
21 April 10 at 04:26
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it’s good it’s wonderful, and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
21 April 10 at 04:36
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
21 April 10 at 05:47
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
21 April 10 at 06:11
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
21 April 10 at 06:41
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
21 April 10 at 06:57
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
21 April 10 at 08:05
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
21 April 10 at 08:32
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
21 April 10 at 09:17
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
21 April 10 at 10:46
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
21 April 10 at 11:06
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
21 April 10 at 11:27
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
21 April 10 at 14:23
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
21 April 10 at 15:10
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
21 April 10 at 16:00
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
21 April 10 at 16:05
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
21 April 10 at 16:51
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
21 April 10 at 17:37
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
21 April 10 at 17:38
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
21 April 10 at 18:26
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
21 April 10 at 18:42