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@ mba ella : diverifikasi dulu emailnya mbak … xixixi …
Idana juga kayanya belum diverifikasi ya??
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@ julie : siapa ? *tengok kanan kiri*
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Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another Direction.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I’m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Am I lightheaded because I’m not dead or because I’m still alive?
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Once you’ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
There is only one nature – the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
I hope life isn’t a big joke … because I don’t get it.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I criticize by creation – not by finding fault.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It’s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.
My last cow just died, so I won’t need your bull anymore.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘I’m not stopping you.’
The truth is more important than the facts.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego’.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that’s ok because you’ll be a mile away from him and you’ll have his shoes.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.
Devlin’s First Law – Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin’s Second Law – So can PowerPoint.
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.
I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Raymond’s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
Gigerenzer’s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The truth is more important than the facts.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I hope life isn’t a big joke … because I don’t get it.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ‘There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.
They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The chain reaction of evil — wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Support your local Search and Rescue unit — get lost.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go ‘aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load…)
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
Honolulu, it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife’s mother.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… ’til you can find a rock.
I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… ’til you can find a rock.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
They laughed when I said I’d be a comedian. They aren’t laughing now.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that’s ok because you’ll be a mile away from him and you’ll have his shoes.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Sex is like air. It’s only a big deal if you can’t get any.
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, ’cause if they couldn’t, they’d have to wake up to the fact that life’s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot — and the only reason THEY can’t seem to keep up is they’re a bunch of misfits and losers.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn’t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit — get lost.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
If it wasn’t for muscle spasms, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
Why don’t you write books people can read?
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions – it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
The truth is more important than the facts.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
If you think it’s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
I was playing poker the other night… with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love .
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
War doesn’t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
Emulate your heros, but don’t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I criticize by creation – not by finding fault.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
As the post said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I Can’t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don’t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can’t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don’t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me – and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another Direction.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Sterling’s Corollary to Clarke’s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
But at my back I always hear Time’s winged chariot hurrying near.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
If you think it’s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Sex is like air. It’s only a big deal if you can’t get any.
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
I think ‘Hail to the Chief’ has a nice ring to it.
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it’s good it’s wonderful, and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
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Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
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