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16 April 10 at 07:45

If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

16 April 10 at 07:47

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

16 April 10 at 08:11

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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

16 April 10 at 08:19

The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

16 April 10 at 08:31

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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

16 April 10 at 08:39

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Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.

16 April 10 at 08:56

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

16 April 10 at 09:16

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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

16 April 10 at 09:28

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

16 April 10 at 09:57

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

16 April 10 at 10:08

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The chain reaction of evil — wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

16 April 10 at 11:11

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Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

16 April 10 at 11:31

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Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

16 April 10 at 11:38

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.

16 April 10 at 11:52

Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.

16 April 10 at 12:14