lagi mikir… ngapain ya aku kopdar dblogger?

jelang kopdar 17 jan 2010 besok, yang ada di pikiranku cuma 1, pengurus dblogger dibubarkan atau didukung?

Categories: d'Celoteh
hilman
Apapun masukkan pasti sangatlah berarti buat kita semua. Dan apapun keputusannya, asalkan itu buat kebaikkan bersama, mesti kita terima dan jalankan. :)
15 January 10 at 08:51
kalo emang cinta dblogger yo mestinya didukung toh :D
15 January 10 at 09:36
ga usah dipikirin bang… liat aja diskusinya nanti heheheh.. santai ajalah.
16 January 10 at 09:33
dblogger adalah sebuah keluarga,
masa’ ada keluarga dibubarkan? ^;^
sekalipun ada perbedaan pendapat, pulang dan pergi orang, toh tetap ada ikatan hati *sekalipun sering tidak satu hati*

damai yuk !!!
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1 April 10 at 06:31
War doesn’t make boys men, it makes men dead.
3 April 10 at 23:42
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
4 April 10 at 03:54
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
4 April 10 at 04:08
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
4 April 10 at 04:25
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
4 April 10 at 04:40
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
4 April 10 at 05:11
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
4 April 10 at 05:57
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
4 April 10 at 06:02
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
4 April 10 at 06:30
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
4 April 10 at 06:51
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
4 April 10 at 07:00
A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.
4 April 10 at 07:44
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
4 April 10 at 07:47
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
4 April 10 at 07:52
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
4 April 10 at 09:18
Why did God create dentists? — In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
4 April 10 at 09:43
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
4 April 10 at 10:39
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
4 April 10 at 10:42
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
4 April 10 at 12:08
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
4 April 10 at 12:30
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
4 April 10 at 13:04
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
4 April 10 at 13:15
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
4 April 10 at 13:39
A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.
4 April 10 at 14:33
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
4 April 10 at 15:12
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… ’til you can find a rock.
4 April 10 at 18:12
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
4 April 10 at 18:24
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
4 April 10 at 21:23
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
4 April 10 at 21:30
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
4 April 10 at 21:41
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego’.
4 April 10 at 22:24
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
4 April 10 at 23:16
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
4 April 10 at 23:21
Raymond’s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
4 April 10 at 23:38
Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.
5 April 10 at 00:22
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
5 April 10 at 00:48
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
5 April 10 at 01:05
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
5 April 10 at 02:30
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
5 April 10 at 02:40
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
5 April 10 at 02:58
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
5 April 10 at 03:00
I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
5 April 10 at 03:27
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
5 April 10 at 04:24
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
5 April 10 at 04:46
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
5 April 10 at 04:50
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
5 April 10 at 05:23
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
5 April 10 at 06:06
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
5 April 10 at 07:57
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
5 April 10 at 08:17
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
5 April 10 at 08:46
Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
5 April 10 at 09:09
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
5 April 10 at 10:09
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
5 April 10 at 10:41
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
5 April 10 at 11:49
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
5 April 10 at 13:22
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
5 April 10 at 13:58
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
5 April 10 at 14:48
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
5 April 10 at 15:08
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
5 April 10 at 15:10
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official…
5 April 10 at 16:00
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.
5 April 10 at 16:45
I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.
5 April 10 at 16:53
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax — tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
5 April 10 at 17:04
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
5 April 10 at 17:14
Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
5 April 10 at 18:18
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you’re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
5 April 10 at 20:06
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
5 April 10 at 20:55
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
5 April 10 at 21:30
Minsky’s Second Law: Don’t just do something. Stand there.
5 April 10 at 21:55
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
5 April 10 at 22:08
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.
5 April 10 at 22:20
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
5 April 10 at 22:26
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
5 April 10 at 22:43
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
5 April 10 at 23:02
I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
5 April 10 at 23:22
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
5 April 10 at 23:25
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
5 April 10 at 23:50
A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
6 April 10 at 00:27
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
6 April 10 at 01:19
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
6 April 10 at 02:02
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
6 April 10 at 02:15
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
6 April 10 at 02:18
Yes, I’m fat, but you’re ugly and I can go on a diet.
6 April 10 at 03:12
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
6 April 10 at 03:43
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
6 April 10 at 03:56
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
6 April 10 at 04:03
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
6 April 10 at 04:09
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
6 April 10 at 04:54
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
6 April 10 at 05:59
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
6 April 10 at 06:44
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
6 April 10 at 06:50
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
6 April 10 at 07:29
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
6 April 10 at 07:54
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
6 April 10 at 08:02
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he’ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
6 April 10 at 08:08
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
6 April 10 at 08:35
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
6 April 10 at 09:19
Raymond’s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
6 April 10 at 09:43
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.
6 April 10 at 10:12
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
6 April 10 at 11:47
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
6 April 10 at 12:40
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.
6 April 10 at 12:56
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
6 April 10 at 13:10
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ‘There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
6 April 10 at 13:47
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
6 April 10 at 14:11
The company doesn’t tell me what to say, and I don’t tell themwhere to stick it.
6 April 10 at 14:29
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
6 April 10 at 14:45
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
6 April 10 at 14:46
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
6 April 10 at 15:40
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
6 April 10 at 15:49
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
6 April 10 at 16:08
In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
6 April 10 at 16:40
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
6 April 10 at 16:51
I am not young enough to know everything.
6 April 10 at 17:26
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
6 April 10 at 17:47
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.
6 April 10 at 18:32
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
6 April 10 at 18:36
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
6 April 10 at 18:38
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
6 April 10 at 19:43
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
6 April 10 at 20:49
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
6 April 10 at 21:01
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
6 April 10 at 21:10
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
6 April 10 at 21:42
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
6 April 10 at 21:58
Sex is like air. It’s only a big deal if you can’t get any.
6 April 10 at 22:56
A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
6 April 10 at 23:57
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
7 April 10 at 00:30
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
7 April 10 at 00:42
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
7 April 10 at 00:42
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
7 April 10 at 00:43
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
7 April 10 at 00:49
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it’s the exact opposite.
7 April 10 at 01:32
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
7 April 10 at 01:36
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
7 April 10 at 01:36
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
7 April 10 at 02:34
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
7 April 10 at 02:41
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
7 April 10 at 03:18
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
7 April 10 at 03:34
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
7 April 10 at 03:39
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
7 April 10 at 03:51
I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
7 April 10 at 03:57
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
7 April 10 at 04:00
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
7 April 10 at 04:29
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
7 April 10 at 04:38
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
7 April 10 at 04:45
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
7 April 10 at 05:12
As the post said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
7 April 10 at 05:23
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
7 April 10 at 06:10
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
7 April 10 at 06:11
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
7 April 10 at 06:31
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
7 April 10 at 07:09
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.
7 April 10 at 07:15
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
7 April 10 at 08:00
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
7 April 10 at 08:17
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
7 April 10 at 08:18
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
7 April 10 at 09:13
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
7 April 10 at 09:18
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
7 April 10 at 10:13
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
7 April 10 at 10:15
I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.
7 April 10 at 10:20
I was playing poker the other night… with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
7 April 10 at 10:21
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
7 April 10 at 10:37
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
7 April 10 at 10:42
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
7 April 10 at 11:33
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
7 April 10 at 11:39
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
7 April 10 at 12:29
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
7 April 10 at 13:10
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
7 April 10 at 13:31
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
7 April 10 at 13:38
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
7 April 10 at 13:46
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
7 April 10 at 15:35
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax — tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
7 April 10 at 16:07
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
7 April 10 at 16:37
Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.
7 April 10 at 16:38
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
7 April 10 at 16:42
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
7 April 10 at 16:47
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
7 April 10 at 16:55
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
7 April 10 at 17:39
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
7 April 10 at 18:00
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
7 April 10 at 18:09
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.
7 April 10 at 18:37
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
7 April 10 at 18:54
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
7 April 10 at 19:09
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
7 April 10 at 19:17
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
7 April 10 at 19:30
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
7 April 10 at 19:41
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
7 April 10 at 19:45
It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go ‘aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
7 April 10 at 19:51
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
7 April 10 at 20:01
Sex is like air. It’s only a big deal if you can’t get any.
7 April 10 at 20:22
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
7 April 10 at 20:42
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
7 April 10 at 20:45
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
7 April 10 at 21:11
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
7 April 10 at 21:15
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
7 April 10 at 21:33
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
7 April 10 at 21:56
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
7 April 10 at 22:44
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
8 April 10 at 01:07
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they’re eating sandwiches.
8 April 10 at 01:38
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
8 April 10 at 01:38
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
8 April 10 at 01:40
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
8 April 10 at 01:59
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
8 April 10 at 02:20
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
8 April 10 at 02:48
Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.
8 April 10 at 03:27
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
8 April 10 at 03:46
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
8 April 10 at 03:48
If it wasn’t for muscle spasms, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
8 April 10 at 04:13
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
8 April 10 at 04:13
I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.
8 April 10 at 04:43
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
8 April 10 at 04:56
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
8 April 10 at 05:39
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
8 April 10 at 06:45
Men have become the tools of their tools.
8 April 10 at 07:00
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
8 April 10 at 07:26
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
8 April 10 at 08:06
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
8 April 10 at 08:22
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
8 April 10 at 09:12
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
8 April 10 at 09:29
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.
8 April 10 at 10:19
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
8 April 10 at 10:21
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
8 April 10 at 10:48
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
8 April 10 at 11:16
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
8 April 10 at 11:33
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
8 April 10 at 11:41
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
8 April 10 at 12:11
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
8 April 10 at 12:17
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
8 April 10 at 12:53
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
8 April 10 at 13:12
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
8 April 10 at 13:47
I criticize by creation – not by finding fault.
8 April 10 at 13:55
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
8 April 10 at 14:12
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.
8 April 10 at 14:26
I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
8 April 10 at 14:56
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
8 April 10 at 14:58
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
8 April 10 at 15:03
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
8 April 10 at 15:35
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
8 April 10 at 15:56
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
8 April 10 at 16:44
When I die I’m going to leave my body to science fiction.
8 April 10 at 16:56
Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.
8 April 10 at 17:11
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
8 April 10 at 17:31
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
8 April 10 at 17:50
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
8 April 10 at 17:54
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
8 April 10 at 18:43
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
8 April 10 at 18:50
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
8 April 10 at 18:53
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
8 April 10 at 19:10
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
8 April 10 at 19:11
I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.
8 April 10 at 19:43
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
8 April 10 at 20:15
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
8 April 10 at 20:35
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
8 April 10 at 20:45
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
8 April 10 at 20:49
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
8 April 10 at 22:41
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
8 April 10 at 23:19
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
8 April 10 at 23:25
If it wasn’t for muscle spasms, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
8 April 10 at 23:26
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
8 April 10 at 23:48
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
9 April 10 at 00:22
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
9 April 10 at 00:32
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
9 April 10 at 01:27
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
9 April 10 at 02:10
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
9 April 10 at 02:37
There is only one nature – the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
9 April 10 at 02:45
If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
9 April 10 at 03:32
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
9 April 10 at 03:34
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
9 April 10 at 03:55
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
9 April 10 at 04:14
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
9 April 10 at 04:57
I’m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It’s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
9 April 10 at 05:07
‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’
9 April 10 at 05:26
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
9 April 10 at 05:28
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.
9 April 10 at 05:28
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
9 April 10 at 05:47
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
9 April 10 at 05:53
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
9 April 10 at 06:29
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
9 April 10 at 06:38
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
9 April 10 at 06:52
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
9 April 10 at 07:27
… one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
9 April 10 at 08:21
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
9 April 10 at 08:24
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
9 April 10 at 08:24
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
9 April 10 at 09:05
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
9 April 10 at 09:18
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
9 April 10 at 10:13
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
9 April 10 at 10:25
I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
9 April 10 at 10:35
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
9 April 10 at 10:48
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
9 April 10 at 11:08
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
9 April 10 at 11:17
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
9 April 10 at 11:45
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
9 April 10 at 12:05
I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
9 April 10 at 12:42
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… ’til you can find a rock.
9 April 10 at 13:22
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
9 April 10 at 13:36
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
9 April 10 at 13:56
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
9 April 10 at 14:08
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
9 April 10 at 15:20
It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.
9 April 10 at 15:39
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
9 April 10 at 15:43
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
9 April 10 at 15:46
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
9 April 10 at 15:50
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
9 April 10 at 16:24
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
9 April 10 at 16:36
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
9 April 10 at 16:38
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
9 April 10 at 16:58
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
9 April 10 at 17:08
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
9 April 10 at 17:21
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
9 April 10 at 17:25
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
9 April 10 at 17:27
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
9 April 10 at 17:31
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
9 April 10 at 17:37
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
9 April 10 at 17:53
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
9 April 10 at 18:31
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
9 April 10 at 18:41
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
9 April 10 at 18:54
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
9 April 10 at 20:31
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
9 April 10 at 20:46
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
9 April 10 at 21:35
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
9 April 10 at 21:47
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
9 April 10 at 22:06
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
10 April 10 at 00:04
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
10 April 10 at 00:48
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
10 April 10 at 01:29
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
10 April 10 at 02:01
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
10 April 10 at 02:03
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
10 April 10 at 02:12
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
10 April 10 at 02:17
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
10 April 10 at 03:19
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me – and by that time no one was left to speak up.
10 April 10 at 03:26
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
10 April 10 at 03:30
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
10 April 10 at 03:30
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego’.
10 April 10 at 04:01
When you’ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
10 April 10 at 04:30
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
10 April 10 at 04:33
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
10 April 10 at 05:09
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
10 April 10 at 05:11
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
10 April 10 at 05:32
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
10 April 10 at 05:40
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
10 April 10 at 05:41
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
10 April 10 at 05:45
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
10 April 10 at 06:02
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
10 April 10 at 06:33
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official…
10 April 10 at 06:56
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
10 April 10 at 07:01
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
10 April 10 at 08:10
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
10 April 10 at 08:59
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
10 April 10 at 09:31
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
10 April 10 at 09:35
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
10 April 10 at 09:42
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
10 April 10 at 09:50
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
10 April 10 at 10:55
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
10 April 10 at 11:14
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
10 April 10 at 11:21
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
10 April 10 at 11:40
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
10 April 10 at 12:15
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
10 April 10 at 12:28
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
10 April 10 at 13:08
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
10 April 10 at 13:23
… one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
10 April 10 at 13:31
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
10 April 10 at 13:35
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
10 April 10 at 13:36
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
10 April 10 at 14:05
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
10 April 10 at 14:30
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
10 April 10 at 14:39
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
10 April 10 at 14:54
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
10 April 10 at 15:01
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
10 April 10 at 15:03
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.
10 April 10 at 15:43
Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
10 April 10 at 15:46
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
10 April 10 at 15:53
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
10 April 10 at 15:54
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
10 April 10 at 16:05
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
10 April 10 at 16:42
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
10 April 10 at 16:50
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.
10 April 10 at 17:01
Hello! dcdaebk interesting dcdaebk site!
10 April 10 at 17:23
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
10 April 10 at 17:23
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
10 April 10 at 17:34
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
10 April 10 at 17:42
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
10 April 10 at 18:24
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
10 April 10 at 18:42
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
10 April 10 at 18:46
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
10 April 10 at 19:01
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
10 April 10 at 19:17
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
10 April 10 at 19:21
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
10 April 10 at 19:47
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
10 April 10 at 20:58
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
10 April 10 at 21:33
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
10 April 10 at 23:07
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
10 April 10 at 23:25
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
10 April 10 at 23:41
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
11 April 10 at 00:07
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
11 April 10 at 00:47
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
11 April 10 at 01:05
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
11 April 10 at 01:09
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
11 April 10 at 01:37
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
11 April 10 at 01:42
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
11 April 10 at 01:57
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
11 April 10 at 02:02
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
11 April 10 at 02:43
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
11 April 10 at 04:34
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
11 April 10 at 04:56
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
11 April 10 at 05:25
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.
11 April 10 at 05:39
When I die I’m going to leave my body to science fiction.
11 April 10 at 05:45
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
11 April 10 at 05:58
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
11 April 10 at 06:19
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
11 April 10 at 06:39
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
11 April 10 at 06:40
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, ‘Don’t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ I said ‘I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too’.
11 April 10 at 07:56
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
11 April 10 at 08:21
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
11 April 10 at 08:56
They laughed when I said I’d be a comedian. They aren’t laughing now.
11 April 10 at 09:35
The truth is more important than the facts.
11 April 10 at 09:59
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
11 April 10 at 10:16
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
11 April 10 at 10:57
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
11 April 10 at 11:04
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
11 April 10 at 11:12
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.
11 April 10 at 11:34
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
11 April 10 at 12:53
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
11 April 10 at 13:10
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
11 April 10 at 13:25
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
11 April 10 at 14:04
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.
11 April 10 at 14:05
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
11 April 10 at 15:12
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
11 April 10 at 15:35
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
11 April 10 at 15:35
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
11 April 10 at 15:56
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
11 April 10 at 16:06
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
11 April 10 at 16:14
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
11 April 10 at 17:09
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
11 April 10 at 17:16
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
11 April 10 at 17:17
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another Direction.
11 April 10 at 17:18
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
11 April 10 at 17:24
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
11 April 10 at 17:35
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
11 April 10 at 18:23
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
11 April 10 at 18:39
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
11 April 10 at 19:18
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
11 April 10 at 19:38
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
11 April 10 at 20:33
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
11 April 10 at 20:45
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
11 April 10 at 20:59
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
11 April 10 at 21:36
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
11 April 10 at 22:24
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
11 April 10 at 22:39
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
11 April 10 at 23:07
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
11 April 10 at 23:18
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
11 April 10 at 23:29
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
11 April 10 at 23:50
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear – kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor – with the cry of grave national emergency.
11 April 10 at 23:57
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
12 April 10 at 00:26
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
12 April 10 at 00:46
I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.
12 April 10 at 01:21
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
12 April 10 at 01:26
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’
12 April 10 at 01:26
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
12 April 10 at 02:03
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
12 April 10 at 02:28
Attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance.
12 April 10 at 03:08
If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.
12 April 10 at 03:41
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
12 April 10 at 03:42
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
12 April 10 at 03:50
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
12 April 10 at 04:32
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
12 April 10 at 04:50
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
12 April 10 at 05:05
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
12 April 10 at 05:22
If you are going through hell, keep going.
12 April 10 at 05:53
Sterling’s Corollary to Clarke’s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
12 April 10 at 06:54
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
12 April 10 at 07:54
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
12 April 10 at 08:02
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
12 April 10 at 08:39
Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
12 April 10 at 08:59
I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
12 April 10 at 09:35
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
12 April 10 at 10:05
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
12 April 10 at 10:19
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
12 April 10 at 11:04
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
12 April 10 at 11:06
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
12 April 10 at 11:38
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
12 April 10 at 12:08
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
12 April 10 at 12:11
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
12 April 10 at 12:32
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
12 April 10 at 13:12
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
12 April 10 at 13:28
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
12 April 10 at 14:16
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
12 April 10 at 14:38
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
12 April 10 at 15:41
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
12 April 10 at 16:01
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
12 April 10 at 16:28
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
12 April 10 at 16:32
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
12 April 10 at 17:10
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
12 April 10 at 17:12
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
12 April 10 at 17:30
Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.
12 April 10 at 17:50
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
12 April 10 at 18:33
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
12 April 10 at 18:35
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
12 April 10 at 18:45
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
12 April 10 at 19:12
Lohr’s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
12 April 10 at 20:22
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
12 April 10 at 20:26
I’m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
12 April 10 at 20:49
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
12 April 10 at 21:45
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
12 April 10 at 21:53
So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘I’m not stopping you.’
12 April 10 at 22:03
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
12 April 10 at 22:31
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
12 April 10 at 23:28
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
13 April 10 at 00:28
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
13 April 10 at 00:35
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
13 April 10 at 01:02
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
13 April 10 at 01:26
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
13 April 10 at 02:00
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
13 April 10 at 02:31
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
13 April 10 at 02:48
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
13 April 10 at 03:11
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
13 April 10 at 03:30
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
13 April 10 at 04:05
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
13 April 10 at 04:16
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
13 April 10 at 04:55
If a man does his best, what else is there?
13 April 10 at 05:13
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
13 April 10 at 06:16
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
13 April 10 at 06:20
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
13 April 10 at 06:38
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
13 April 10 at 07:02
I hope life isn’t a big joke … because I don’t get it.
13 April 10 at 07:25
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
13 April 10 at 08:08
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
13 April 10 at 08:40
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
13 April 10 at 09:50
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.
13 April 10 at 09:54
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
13 April 10 at 10:07
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.
13 April 10 at 10:30
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
13 April 10 at 10:37
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
13 April 10 at 10:58
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
13 April 10 at 11:50
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
13 April 10 at 11:52
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
13 April 10 at 13:49
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
13 April 10 at 14:02
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
13 April 10 at 14:15
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
13 April 10 at 15:07
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
13 April 10 at 15:36
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
13 April 10 at 16:01
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.
13 April 10 at 16:16
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
13 April 10 at 17:18
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
13 April 10 at 17:24
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
13 April 10 at 17:55
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
13 April 10 at 18:30
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
13 April 10 at 18:55
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
13 April 10 at 19:00
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once…
13 April 10 at 19:01
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
13 April 10 at 19:44
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
13 April 10 at 20:00
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
13 April 10 at 21:34
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
13 April 10 at 22:07
I am not young enough to know everything.
13 April 10 at 23:16
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
13 April 10 at 23:45
If it wasn’t for muscle spasms, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
14 April 10 at 00:50
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
14 April 10 at 01:00
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
14 April 10 at 01:06
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
14 April 10 at 01:22
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
14 April 10 at 01:44
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
14 April 10 at 01:50
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
14 April 10 at 02:07
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
14 April 10 at 02:35
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
14 April 10 at 02:35
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
14 April 10 at 02:40
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
14 April 10 at 03:12
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
14 April 10 at 03:56
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
14 April 10 at 04:11
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
14 April 10 at 04:50
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
14 April 10 at 04:54
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
14 April 10 at 05:16
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
14 April 10 at 05:33
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
14 April 10 at 05:36
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
14 April 10 at 05:50
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
14 April 10 at 05:51
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
14 April 10 at 06:03
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
14 April 10 at 06:39
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
14 April 10 at 07:06
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
14 April 10 at 07:27
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
14 April 10 at 07:36
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
14 April 10 at 07:52
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
14 April 10 at 07:55
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
14 April 10 at 08:16
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
14 April 10 at 08:51
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
14 April 10 at 08:55
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
14 April 10 at 08:59
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
14 April 10 at 09:00
So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘I’m not stopping you.’
14 April 10 at 09:23
The truth is more important than the facts.
14 April 10 at 09:36
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego’.
14 April 10 at 10:32
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
14 April 10 at 10:37
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
14 April 10 at 11:01
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
14 April 10 at 11:10
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
14 April 10 at 11:18
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
14 April 10 at 11:22
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
14 April 10 at 12:12
If you are going through hell, keep going.
14 April 10 at 12:13
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
14 April 10 at 12:47
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
14 April 10 at 13:18
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
14 April 10 at 13:26
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.
14 April 10 at 13:56
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
14 April 10 at 14:51
Don’t drive me crazy — it’s within walking distance.
14 April 10 at 15:07
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
14 April 10 at 15:07
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
14 April 10 at 15:20
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
14 April 10 at 15:26
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
14 April 10 at 15:48
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
14 April 10 at 16:33
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
14 April 10 at 16:37
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
14 April 10 at 16:41
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
14 April 10 at 16:49
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
14 April 10 at 17:16
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
14 April 10 at 17:40
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn’t have an air force.
14 April 10 at 17:52
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
14 April 10 at 18:01
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
14 April 10 at 18:23
I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
14 April 10 at 18:35
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
14 April 10 at 18:39
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
14 April 10 at 18:59
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
14 April 10 at 19:18
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
14 April 10 at 19:32
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
14 April 10 at 20:14
One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.
14 April 10 at 20:28
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
14 April 10 at 20:39
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
14 April 10 at 21:47
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
14 April 10 at 22:57
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
15 April 10 at 00:06
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
15 April 10 at 01:15
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
15 April 10 at 02:00
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
15 April 10 at 02:25
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
15 April 10 at 03:01
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
15 April 10 at 03:16
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
15 April 10 at 03:23
Gigerenzer’s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
15 April 10 at 03:35
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
15 April 10 at 04:53
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
15 April 10 at 04:56
The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.
15 April 10 at 06:11
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
15 April 10 at 06:29
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
15 April 10 at 07:10
The truth is more important than the facts.
15 April 10 at 07:35
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
15 April 10 at 08:05
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
15 April 10 at 08:25
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.
15 April 10 at 08:26
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
15 April 10 at 08:32
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
15 April 10 at 10:34
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
15 April 10 at 11:01
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
15 April 10 at 11:13
If you can read this you’re not aiming in the right direction.
15 April 10 at 12:18
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
15 April 10 at 12:20
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
15 April 10 at 12:29
I hope life isn’t a big joke … because I don’t get it.
15 April 10 at 13:45
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
15 April 10 at 14:18
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
15 April 10 at 14:26
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
15 April 10 at 15:27
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
15 April 10 at 15:57
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
15 April 10 at 16:12
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.
15 April 10 at 17:11
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
15 April 10 at 18:04
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
15 April 10 at 18:27
It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.
15 April 10 at 18:34
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
15 April 10 at 18:35
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
15 April 10 at 18:36
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
15 April 10 at 19:06
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
15 April 10 at 19:30
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
15 April 10 at 19:43
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
15 April 10 at 19:57
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ‘There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
15 April 10 at 20:37
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
15 April 10 at 20:41
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
15 April 10 at 20:54
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
15 April 10 at 21:08
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
15 April 10 at 21:59
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
15 April 10 at 22:10
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
15 April 10 at 22:38
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
15 April 10 at 22:44
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
15 April 10 at 22:54
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
15 April 10 at 23:33
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
16 April 10 at 01:11
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
16 April 10 at 01:17
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
16 April 10 at 01:23
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
16 April 10 at 01:24
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
16 April 10 at 01:53
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
16 April 10 at 02:33
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
16 April 10 at 02:41
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
16 April 10 at 03:02
I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
16 April 10 at 03:08
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
16 April 10 at 03:10
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
16 April 10 at 03:12
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
16 April 10 at 03:55
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:22
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:22
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
16 April 10 at 04:22
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
16 April 10 at 04:32
If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.
16 April 10 at 04:51
They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–
16 April 10 at 05:20
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
16 April 10 at 05:24
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
16 April 10 at 05:33
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
16 April 10 at 06:11
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
16 April 10 at 06:16
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
16 April 10 at 06:28
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
16 April 10 at 06:28
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
16 April 10 at 06:36
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
16 April 10 at 06:48
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
16 April 10 at 07:28
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
16 April 10 at 07:45
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
16 April 10 at 07:47
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
16 April 10 at 08:11
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
16 April 10 at 08:19
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
16 April 10 at 08:31
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
16 April 10 at 08:39
Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.
16 April 10 at 08:56
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
16 April 10 at 09:16
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
16 April 10 at 09:28
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
16 April 10 at 09:57
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
16 April 10 at 10:08
The chain reaction of evil — wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
16 April 10 at 11:11
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
16 April 10 at 11:31
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
16 April 10 at 11:38
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
16 April 10 at 11:52
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
16 April 10 at 12:14
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
16 April 10 at 12:19
Support your local Search and Rescue unit — get lost.
16 April 10 at 12:37